


fvck! i want a hug really bad

by achilleas



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cookies, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Isolation, Loneliness, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27212938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleas/pseuds/achilleas
Summary: overflowing emotions are always a problem, he doesn't care what anybody says. he feels like punching the wall, screaming, kicking and crying. nothing comes out anyway.
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno, Corpse Husband/Sykkuno
Comments: 24
Kudos: 937





	fvck! i want a hug really bad

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is not romantic(? i just love their friendship. this honestly can be viewed as pre slash but whatever you want. if either of them say they're not comfortable with fanfics i will remove this.
> 
> also this fic is literally just me self-projecting. this is how i've been feeling for the last few days and the only difference is i don't have a friend to hug me. sad. watching them is literally the only thing making me happy right now.
> 
> anyway i literally wrote it while i was in class and i didn't check it for mistakes so sorry if it's weird. also english is not my first language sorry for that and be patient pls.
> 
> lowercaps are intentional.

why do people crave touch? really! it would be so much easier if everyone just avoided touching each other. look at the world right now, would we be living in the middle of a pandemic if we as a society didn't touch? ridiculous, i know sorry. 

the truth is human beings are social by nature and with that comes touch, and people craving affection. terrifying, really. getting close to someone is, would you mind if i use the word terrifying again? because i certainly can't think of another one. does this mean I'm a coward? maybe, leave me alone. wait that's not what i want right now, fuck. or do i? 

corpse is on his bed, with no plans to get up any time soon. these days are exhausting. there's no specific reason to be sad, and that makes him feel worse. it's been 5 days since the last time he talked to someone. yes he's got unread messages but he doesn't feel like answering, because what would he say? there's no reason to ghost everyone, yet here he is. 

the kind of day has come where he just wants to fucking scream, but it feels like he's too tired to get even a word out. he realizes he's gripping the sheets too hard, like it's gonna fucking fly away or something. 

he needs to get up to at least have something to eat. cooking feels just so pointless in his mind. at least when it's just for himself, can't help feeling like that much effort is just a waste. he ends up having some cereal with the little milk that he has left. 

as he's washing the plate he hears his phone ring, it's back in his room but he doesn't want to answer anyway so he just lets it die out in the background. 

overflowing emotions are always a problem, he doesn't care what anybody says. he feels like punching the wall, screaming, kicking and crying. nothing comes out anyway, he just sits in front of his tv and stares at a black screen. 

isolating everyone out of your life when you need them the most is something he's used to. because guys! it's just so much easier. when he's like this he doesn't have to deal with trying to explain what's got him so messed up. not like he can even explain anything, he'd just end up making a joke to get out of being serious. 

anyway, the people in his life have gotten used to this. disappearing for some days with no communication with anyone else is something he just needs once in a while. he's never explained it, but after being asked and never actually answering he feels like they got the message because they didn't ask again. 

however he does feel guilty. it's unavoidable. but he does his best to ignore it, hoping everyone else will too. or maybe they just really don't care. 

he also hasn't been posting anything these past days and it feels so damn unproductive. but he just can't bring himself to do anything, and it's suffocating because he wants to but it feels like something is pushing him down. his breathing feels heavy. his chest is beginning to hurt. 

fuck. 

why. 

no no no. 

he knows this feeling, he hates this feeling. but it's hopeless to try to stop it. 

he gets up and tries to look around his apartment to calm himself down but everything starts to get blurry. his eyes feel hot and he feels the tears falling down his face. what a way to spend the fucking day, shit. 

-◇- 

after showering he doesn't go back to his couch. he goes to his room and starts playing some music to try and get his mind off of things. or just to stop thinking. 

um. apparently someone is knocking on his door. he can't think of anyone who would show up unannounced to his place. so it's probably a package or something. that's the only reason he opens the door. 

he didn't expect to see him. they met recently and yeah he's been so nice and such a good friend to him but he didn't think he'd show up when they haven't even exchanged words in the past few days. then it occurred to him that he doesn't really know about his ghosting tendencies. 

"um, hi. i- i just wanted to see how you're doing." sykkuno stood there looking at him with an expression that he couldn't really read. was it confusion? worry? 

"i- you didn't have to come here. i just haven't been online a lot that's all." corpse lied. he'd said he's pretty good at it but it didn't seem to convince his friend. 

"well you didn't answer my call so i got a little worried." 

"you shouldn't have i'm okay." so he was the one who called. corpse didn't even check his phone. he noticed that sykkuno had brought something. "what do you have there?" 

"oh! i made some cookies and i thought i'd share them with you. do you want some?" 

corpse felt his chest tighten, but different this time. it was a sensation of... he doesn't even know. but he felt an urge to just... 

"uh, corpse?" shit. 

"yeah, yeah sure. um. come in." 

corpse showed him the way to the kitchen so he could open the tupper that contained the cookies. they smelled nice. it's not like corpse was the biggest fan of cookies but he had never had someone bring him cookies to make him feel better. it was weird but comforting. 

"they're chocolate chip, i hope you like those." his friend smiled shyly at him. 

"i do." he felt his eyes start to water. he tried to stop them, it seems to be working but he must look ridiculous either way. 

"i know you said you're okay but, it's okay if you're not. i'm here if- if you wanna talk." corpse just made a noise of acknowledgement. "do you? wanna talk i mean." 

"not really." 

"oh. that's okay too." 

corpse looked at him, he felt like he had to say something. "i haven't even made my bed." then he let his face fall in the kitchen counter. 

sykkuno didn't really know what to say. what does that mean? he was just looking at his friend there, he didn't like that he was sad. but he didn't really know what to do. so he carefully put his hand on corpse's back to try and be at least a little comforting. 

corpse noticed this and it just hit him how much he craved touch even though he didn't know. he straightened and it kind of startled sykkuno a little. 

"can you- um can i get uh" he struggled a little, he didn't realize this would be hard but he didn't want to assume that it would be okay to just do it. 

"corpse? it's okay you can tell me." 

"i just- i want a hug really bad." 

sykkuno stared at him and stood there for like a few seconds, it felt too long for corpse but it was probably just his paranoia. finally he reached corpse and wrapped his arms around him tentatively because they've never hugged before. corpse stood there awkwardly and then realized that he should hug back. 

it felt nice, and it made him feel warm and safe at least in that moment. sykkuno was about to pull away but corpse didn't let him and held him just a little bit tighter. he buried his face in his neck and hoped he wouldn't start crying right there.

**Author's Note:**

> can't believe this is the first fic i posted here. anyway i doubt anyone would read this. if you're here i hope you enjoyed i guess.
> 
> edit: okay if you want you can send a request to my tumblr: sykkunno


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